Which one is yours?
He helps you get over a previous relationship, divorce, bereavement or a fallow period where you haven’t met anyone for a while. He makes you feel attractive and confident again but you know he’s not The One. He takes you out and has interesting friends but maybe lacks passion or you just simply don’t fancy the pants off him. This is a temporary relationship, a holiday romance or a fling. He’ll do until someone more suitable comes along. Sounds harsh when written down but we’ve all had a relationship like this and as long as you don’t give him false hope, it can be beneficial to both of you.
The Slippery Eel
You can’t pin him down and are never quite sure where he is. You have a sneaky suspicion that he is not 100% faithful. The sex is great and you’ve fallen for him. When you’re together you have a wonderful time but you don’t see him as often as you would like. He always seems to have family or friends who need him or take up his time. He says all the right things and makes you feel special so you want to believe that he could be The One. However, the reality is that he’s probably married.
He is charming and his flattery makes you feel like a queen. He sweeps you off your feet – perhaps a little too quickly. He’s full of big ideas, confident and loves to tell you how important he is. If he doesn’t have influential friends to boast about, he’ll have a sob story about how he lost a lot of money or how he’s from a poor family but if only he had a little help, he could make a lot of money. He makes idle promises but introduces you to his friends and family to make you feel valued. He starts to ask you for money as he has big plans for your future, grooming you for the big request. Then, as soon as he gets what he wants, he’s off like the wind, never to be seen again!
He likes the idea of a foreign wife so that he can impress his friends. He is genuinely interested in you and quickly asks you to marry him. However, as soon as the ring is on your finger, there is a distinct change in his expectations. In reality, he wants a housekeeper to cook, clean and wait on him. He will only eat Turkish food and is happy to eat the same meals week in week out. He no longer wants to engage in lengthy conversations – in fact, the less you say, the better! He starts to criticise the way you dress, wanting you to show less skin and dress more modestly. He spends increasingly more time with his friends, expecting you to stay at home. Occasionally, he will ask you to accompany him to family gatherings or weddings.
He is everything you’d dreamed he’d be. You love everything about him and you have an intense connection which may even be difficult to convey into words. He just “gets you” — finishing your sentences, he is your best friend, and together you have adopted the ‘us against the world mentality’. He feels like your other half. He adores you and wants your babies. Despite obstacles that are thrown in your way: family objections, language barrier, cultural differences, visa restrictions, etc. you overcome them together and are stronger as a result of your struggles. He has the same life goals and is willing to compromise on things for you to be together.
Of course, your man might not fit neatly into any of these categories. Maybe he’s a mixture of a couple. Or he might be an entirely different category that I haven’t mentioned. Let me know!